The Captain and the Professor
by tealish
Summary: Just some slashy Haddock/Calculus drabbles.


_I utterly adore Haddock/Calculus __so, of course, I had to produce some drabbles. :D There are only 4 here at the moment, but I'd like to do more. (I wrote these from prompt words, so if anyone would like to suggest a word or two, feel free, and I'll see what I can do.)  
_

_These bits of writing include Slash. No like, no read._

_Enjoy~_

* * *

**-Communicate-**

Knowing that the addle-brained Calculus would find no less than fifty different ways to misinterpret him, the Captain turned to action to do the talking for him - fastening trembling fingers into the professor's shirt collar, Haddock yanked him into a firm, whiskery kiss.

* * *

**-Haddock the Hero-**

A swift punch and Allan was down, grunting in unconsciousness on the floor -good. The scoundrel deserved it. Whatever bungled excuse he'd tried to give to Haddock for kidnapping Professor Calculus was lost and frankly, he couldn't give a damn. Triumphantly, Haddock stepped over the sorry sod's twitching body and made for the open cell.

He hadn't gone three steps before Calculus poked his head out, the image of meek curiosity.

"Oh my - have I been kidnapped again?"

Haddock didn't waste words and simply nodded, rubbing his sore fist. Blistering barnacles, his hand hurt! At least the professor seemed unharmed.

"Well, then! I suppose this makes you my hero then, doesn't it? Thank you!"

"I guess so," Haddock shrugged. "Wasn't much trouble, though - a good blow to the gut usually does the trick!"

"Do I feel sick? I suppose I do feel a bit woozy - they haven't fed me much, you know."

"Well, if it's food you want, we have plenty back at the fort-"

"I can lean on you for support? Why, Captain! How thoughtful of you to offer~" Calculus practically cooed and, before Haddock could make a move, he'd looped an arm around the taller man's shoulder, leaning heavily.

"What? Cuthbert, I-"

"Carry me _bridal style_, you say? Well, if you insist!"

And that was how Haddock carried Calculus bridal style back to camp; Cuthbert was humming cheerily with his arms looped around the Captain's neck, Haddock's face a particularly interesting shade of mauve that kept anyone from asking questions.

* * *

**-Too Early-**

Familiar swearing exclamations roused Tintin in an instant; the sun wasn't even up yet, he noted blearily before he shuffled past a snoring Snowy and lumbered off down the hall in search of the source of the commotion. It sounded like it was coming from the Captain's room; from the tone of his voice, he wasn't in danger, merely irritated at something or someone.

"Rascal! Nincompoop! Bedroom-invader!"

Definitely a someone, the boy thought.

When the boy reached his destination, the door was already ajar. Blinking away sleep, he approached as if in a trance and peered inside. As he predicted, Haddock and Calculus were inside, having a row - or at least Haddock was trying to. He was currently in the middle of shaking a bewildered Calculus by the collar of his bedclothes, which actually seemed to be made out of some sort of odd, shimmering foil-esque material. What Tintin had not foreseen was that the two men would be sharing a bed - Haddock's bed, to be exact.

"From now on, this room's going to be LOCKED, you hear me? L-O-C- !"

"What's going on?" Tintin yawned as he leaned on the door frame. Both heads turned to him.

"I'll tell you what's going on - this loon snuck into my room in the middle of the night and climbed into bed with me! Without my permission!" Haddock fumed.

"Ah, good morning, Tintin!" the Professor greeted the sleepy ginger, "You're not a moment too soon as I've just completed the test run for my new invention - the body heat-i-fyer!"

"I woke up with his arm draped over my waist - like this! I'm telling you, I wont' stand for th-"

"No longer will you need to wear layers of clothing on snowy mountain hikes! Isn't it wonderful, my boy?"

"He even had the nerve to ask me if I was 'feeling warmer than usual' - and to 'describe it'! What in blue blazes is that supposed to-"

"And good old Captain Haddock here helped me test it! Oh, I'm so pleased, I could kiss him!"

At this, Haddock's blustering was sucked into an OOF-gasp as Calculus practically threw himself against the other man's burly chest and squeezed him with glee. Amused, Tintin chuckled to himself and, with a quick goodnight, ducked out of the doorway. It was best to get gone before the Captain could overcome his shock at the professor's unusual strength and start shouting anew.

Climbing back into bed, Tintin let his eyes slide shut and fumbled in his night table drawer. Good thing he kept earplugs handy.

* * *

**-Surprise-**

Sure, Haddock had heard Calculus boast about his athletic youth and, of course, there was that time that he himself had riled up the old goat enough for him to pick up a grown man and hang him on a coat rack, but the professor's gentle, dithering disposition made it all too easy to forget such occurrences.

Thus, the Captain was left to stare, dumbfounded, at the sight of his large, hairy hand pinned firmly underneath the professor's smaller, thin-fingered one.

"Oh my, I haven't hurt you, I hope?" Calculus said, shooting Haddock's reddening face a concerned look over his spectacles.

"Perhaps we can continue another da-"

"No!" Haddock yelped, grasping the other's hand before he could pull it away, eliciting a startled gasp from the Professor.

"I mean – blistering barnacles, Cuthbert, I never expected _that_!You really pulled the wool over my eyes there," he smiled, suddenly, "—but it's not over yet! Let's say best two out of _three_, aye?"

"I don't see what your _knee_ has to do with it," Calculus admitted, leaning further over the table, "but how about we give it another go? I warn you, though - it's at your own risk!"

Calculus grinned back then, a mischievous look that Haddock had never seen the generally mild mannered man wear before. Later, he'd be unsure if it was that look that distracted him into losing the next round, but one thing was certain – Calculus and "weak" would never be associated in his mind again.


End file.
